BREAKING: New Ordinance Allows for Exotic Animals

Announced earlier today, a new ordinance allows for exotic animals to be kept within city limits.

The size of the animals can range from a hamster to as large as an elephant. According to the press release, restrictions are: 1) said animal must be restrained within the resident’s backyard or property. 2) Said animal must be kept for educational purposes or to meet dietary needs. 3) Owner of the property must have proof of ownership if requested. 4) Owner of animal, are required to keep one month worth of feed which can include live food (for example, if the animal consumes mice, owner must have one-month supply of mice).

The Clovis Roundup was able to contact local exotic animal expert, Elle Lephante, to get a better insight on this ordinance. Lephante has over 20 years of experience working with exotic animals in the area.

“Due to consumable shortages it only makes sense to be able to raise and consume your own food supply. With this new ordinance allowing exotic animals in our backyards, it enables residents to be self reliant for their food sources.” said Lephante.

She went on to caution residents that when raising exotic animals, the owner can easily become part of their animal’s food supply.

“You have to be careful on what exotic animals you bring into your home. If you decide to keep a tiger, you want to make sure they are well fed. If the animal is under fed, they may start to look at you or your neighbors as filet mignon,” said Lephante.

Lephante also stated that with this ordinance, underground exotic animal lovers can now openly embrace their passion for these animals.

“When I heard the announcement, I immediately called Animal Exotic Imports and used all my stimulus money to order a lion, tiger, and bear,” said Jacques Strappe, a local resident. “Because I live in a small condo, I’m also currently searching for a backyard to rent to house my new animals.”

Since the announcement, there has been a surge in demand for elephants and giraffes.

Lephante plans to begin the process of bringing in two elephants for breeding purposes in order to meet the demands for elephant calves.

For more information, you can visit, www.aprilfools.com.

*This story is a complete fabrication in honor of April Fool’s Day and was not meant to offend anyone. Happy April Fool’s Day Clovis!